But here’s the thing: We have so much fun together. My best friend tells me to relax – this is just how dating is. I’m going nuts thinking about him dating other girls. However, despite the apparent benefits, the Tinder Revolution often leaves us feeling less self-confident, confused, frustrated, and empty. Everybody wants to feel special and to be treated with love and respect.She says it’s 100% normal for us to both date multiple people at once until we decide together to make the relationship exclusive. Agreeing to date someone while he or she dates other people signals that it is somehow acceptable not to respect or value you.Perhaps, in the end you didn’t either, so no harm, right? If you had dated exclusively, both of you would have come to this place sooner and not wasted precious time.Worse, if in fact you did fall for him, then you’re left heartbroken and empty.The last time I saw him, I asked him if we could define our relationship. I decided that everything was probably okay until yesterday when my brother went to a coffee shop and saw him with another girl.In response, he started talking, but somehow didn’t really say anything, and I got the feeling he was probably seeing someone else. Everything was still so new between us, so I let the subject drop. I’m afraid to bring this up with him because the conversation didn’t go well the last time; he’s obviously not ready to be exclusive with me. My friend, you are an unwitting victim of the new culture that I call “the Tinder Revolution.” Although it’s always been possible to see more than one person at a time, technology – and Tinder, where one swipes right or left to meet or reject another – is just one app of many that has made it much easier for us to encounter, get-to-know, and “communicate” with multiple people simultaneously.They are monogamous and present themselves as a couple to the world.
Zoosk analyzed more than 3.7 million dating profiles and 364.6 million first messages and found out the following: 1. At a minimum, it is a waste of your time, as more likely than not, non-exclusive relationships peter out. It is rude and disrespectful to be subject to such behavior. Dating someone while they’re dating other people is the same thing.At worst, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak, getting attached to a person who refuses to focus on you. While he’s out with you having coffee, his mind could be on the dinner he had with her last night. I know many people think, It’s okay if he’s dating others besides me.While there’s no magic bullet to prevent heartbreak, there is a good chance that if the relationship ended sooner you would not have fallen so hard.In the future, from the first date, let the guy know what you want and need: exclusivity. Even if you’ve missed your opportunity to set your boundaries on the first date, do it now.Since becoming a single mom more than five years ago, I’ve gone through a lot of changes – especially in my dating life. For awhile I bounced back and forth between playing the field and not dating at all to focus on my son and myself.